Life

  Many people glamourize jealousy by saying it’s a sign of love. It’s not! It’s a sign of insecurity and reflective of seeing your partner as an object to be possessed. It’s a negative emotion stemming from both desire and insecurity, but not love. Conversely, if you love the fact someone is possessive about you, it stems from your debilitating need to be loved and be taken care of, even at the cost of your freedom. Jealousy and possessiveness are not safe cocoons. It’s a prison where the prisoner has to behave as per the rules and insecurities of the jailor or be punished for it. There is no space or regard for trust, individuality or personal growth. Your love for your partner and your desire to see them happy will be used as a means to whip you into subservience and to force you to bow down to their demons. None of it is healthy, desirable or productive. None of it will create harmony and long term happiness. To truly love is to trust. To allow those you love to blossom, be th...

When you feel like you have to love, that you have to do things to make your partner happy, that you have to be a certain way to get the love you want—then the feeling of authentic love starts to disintegrate and die. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Love needs space to grow. Like fire, love needs a little breathing room. Stifle it and it burns right out. The reason love dies under heavy limitations is because limits are counter to our very nature, which is growth. We can't help but expand. We can't help but evolve. We can't help but to change. The process of growth cannot be stopped within us, nor should it be. So when limits, expectations, and “should” are placed on us by our partners and by ourselves, we automatically want to break-out of them. Now, let's be honest, we all do this. We expect them to act a certain way; we expect ourselves to act a certain way. We feel like they should [fill in the blank]; we feel like we should [fill in the blank]. I could go on ...

A male child is mostly fond of his mother. I mean, the mother has been there all through his life, taking care of him, praying for him, encouraging him, supporting him and been there for him generally. A man will first tell his mother about his girlfriend before his father is aware. And so the guy gets married and it’s hard to move to the new realization that he now has a wife, who is to step in and take a baton. The baton, I mean now while some men can easily move, others can’t, well depending on how close they are to their mothers. So I mean, time and patience is required here on the wife’s part to help the guy transit and the guy must be willing to transit as well. So, let me address the ladies, if you really want your man to transit in time. What a man wants in a woman are; a man really want a spiritual woman, intellectual need and of course physical needs. Ladies, listen to this carefully, you can only LEARN your man and not CHANGE him. I mean, since you’ve been trying to chan...

Hey guys, it's so good to be back. Now, let's talk about LOVE. It’s a pretty common consensus that love takes work. Yet,  80 percent of Nigerians under 30 believe in a soulmate , the idea that there is one perfect person out there just waiting to be found. Even the expression “falling in love” makes it sound like love is out of our hands — that it just happens to us. Achieving long-lasting love isn’t usually easy, even when we meet the right person. However, it’s also not an endlessly laborious undertaking that takes more in struggle than it offers in pleasure. So how do we know when to give up on a relationship, and how do we know when to fight for it? First, we should accept the reality that relationships, while in and of themselves have the potential to be fairly sweet and simple, are often made terribly complicated. When any two people with two separate minds, two separate pasts and two separate sets of baggage come together, the future will not likely be just one smo...

MANAGING RELATIONSHIP CRISIS Relationships are at the core of the most important things we do, not only as leaders but also as humans. Relationships are how we form partnerships and families and organizations and communities. All relationships--personal and professional--experience ups and downs. There are great times when you can almost read each other's minds, followed by challenging periods when you seem to be miles apart. These variations happen even in healthy relationships too. But if things seem to be more down than up when you look at an important relationship in your life--whether it's a colleague or a friend, a key employee or a business partner--you may start to wonder if something more serious is going on. But let’s talk more about a Personal Relationship with your partner. Here are some symptoms that should cause you worried, together with the preventive measures that can help you keep your relationships healthy: 1. Resentment. Resentment grows when some...

  P art of the pleasure of reading a novel lies in not knowing how it will wrap up until we get to the last page. Then reminisce on how the characters might have lived differently, had they known what the end would be. . .      But real life has an urgency, so different from fiction and at the end, it cannot be changed. Now, if you're faced with the opportunity to change just one thing about your life, would you oblige? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or that change break your heart? It's always funny when people say "had it been Adam and Eve never ate that forbidden fruit, we would have lived a better life, no sin, no death, etc". It behooves me if it does really matter? Do you ever wonder, if we make moments in our lives or the moments in our lives makes us? People are going to disappoint you, you should expect that. But what if you wake up one day and realize you are the disappointment? Changing just o...